Day 46

August 28, 2014

Car accident.

Today was a full range of emotions. Started out with the regular long commute, followed by me falling asleep at the wheel, followed by getting into a nasty rear ending accident, followed by nervously trying to exchange information, followed by an intimidating cop, followed by, a shit ton of cassette QC at work, followed by not knowing where the fuck my car was towed for about 2 hours, followed by complete self hatred and depression, followed by contemplating suicide, followed by getting some ice cream with S**, followed by sorting everything out with the car mechanics and insurance, followed by joking about suicide, followed by maniacally laughing at S** for leaving her at the best cliff hanger episode of Kill la Kill XD.

Best text exchange ever.
Me: So... it finally happened. Got into an accident.
S**: Annnd that's your wake up call. Drive safer you dork!

Really...? wake up call -_-?.

I'm also really thankful for my work. They were incredibly understanding about the fact that I needed some time to call people and needing some time tomorrow to figure out crap. Really cool people.

My dad was also not mad at all. More thankful that nothing happened to me, which was how I expected him to react, I think.

This is truly a wake up call though. I really need to move closer to work. I slept quite a bit during weekend (granted only 12 to 6 on Sunday -> Monday). However, even days when I don't wake up to an alarm (the days I go into work at around 10, because they're cool with that), I still feel incredibly sleepy 40 minutes into the commute.

In the end though, I can't blame the commute. I can't blame not being able to sleep right. I can't blame depression. I can't blame anything other than myself. I got careless and irresponsible. I should have gotten a little more sleep. I should have prepared myself some tea to keep me more awake. I should have moved closer to work over a month ago. However, even though it's all my fault, there's no need to think of suicide. I just have to learn from this and keep going. Float on.